My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
