I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
