I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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