Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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