come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
