All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
