I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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