Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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