Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
