does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
