so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
