Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
