a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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