we have officially lost it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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