They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
