C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize