Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
