Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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