Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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