I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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