It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
