if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
