It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
