oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
