I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
