shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
