I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
