i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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