Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
