would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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