I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
