Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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