So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
