I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
