Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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