Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize