Joe is yelling at the trees again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize