My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
