He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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