In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
