There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
