man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
