The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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