I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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