Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
