So drunk its hurt
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Success! We fucked roommates!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
