Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
