Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
