woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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