Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
