addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
