SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
