Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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