I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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