he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
