I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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